To Have And To Hold
by DeiaSM
Summary: Scully reflects on her life in the eve of a very special day.


Title: To Have And To Hold

Author: Deia

Category: V, MSR

Rating: PG

Distribution: go ahead, just let me know

Spoilers: Seasons 8 and 9

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money from it

Summary: Scully reflects on her life in the eve of a very special day.

A.N. Thank you Sallie for the beta and for naming this story. I'd be

lost without you, darling.

Dedication: For Gwen, on her 25th Anniversary. Wishing her and Mr.

Gwen all the happiness and blessings in the world.

**To Have And To Hold **

Scully leaned out over the balcony of her house and looked at the green grass in front of her. The house was quiet at that time of the day, and she had a few minutes to herself before Mulder would arrive.

Mulder would be a little late that night, though. After so many years, they had become accustomed to being together virtually every hour of every day, so it felt like something was missing when he wasn't there.

The life they had led before would seem unthinkable to many people. Most of their neighbors thought they were merely a somewhat unusual couple who chose to live in the country, and kept largely to themselves. The neighbors would never know or understand even a tenth of the things this couple had seen and done during their previous lives.

Now that it was all over, it felt strange to think that if they hadn't fought so hard, she probably wouldn't be standing there, in that cozy house, looking over her backyard. And even if she felt a little nostalgic at the moment, she was content with her life.

The past few months had been stressful for them--too much to think about, too much to decide. Mulder was so intent on his 'work,' that one would think aliens were trying to invade the planet - again. He was treating it like the event of the century and it never ceased to amuse her.

It was only a wedding, after all. She knew that she should be more enthusiastic about it, but it was hard for her. She was afraid of the  
changes it would bring. Her mother said it was normal to feel that way; that she had gone through the same thing herself. It didn't make Scully feel any better, though.

Feeling guilty, she decided that she'd go inside and do something productive. She still had a few adjustments she wanted to make on her dress, but as soon as her eyes fell on the photo albums, she couldn't resist and picked them up.

Two of the albums had pictures of hers and Mulder's childhoods, passing through teenage years, to adulthood.

The next album was of them together--from FBI shots to holiday parties. Her eyes lingered on the people they had lost during their fight against colonization, The Lone Gun Men, Monica, Tara. She felt tears sting her eyes and turned ahead to the last photos in the album. She looked at Mulder's sparkling eyes, the way he looked at her with such adoration, and felt herself falling even more in love with him, if that was possible.

Sighing, Scully reached out for the last album; she felt a tug on her heart. She knew that one would make her cry. The first page had a picture of a little blond girl at her birthday party, and one of a newborn boy. She smiled with watery eyes at her babies.

The next pages were filled with pictures of William. When Mulder had been hiding, right after Will was born, Scully took pictures of him at every opportunity. She knew that one day she would be able to share them with Mulder. Somehow she thought that it would help, making up for everything he was missing in his son's life. She remembered the first time Mulder had seen the album. It had been a week after Mulder's escape. They held each other close and cried all night. Mulder had only spent two days with their son before he'd had to leave. She couldn't imagine how it had felt for him--to lose yet another person, to lose their only child.

Scully looked at the last photo she took before giving Will up for adoption, and couldn't hold her tears any longer. She bit her lower lip, and turned the page. Her son was around four years old in the next picture. He was smiling at the camera, and waving. Scully stroked the picture as if she was caressing him. She tried not to think of the three year gap separating the pictures. That would be more painful than she could stand.

Tears were still falling from her eyes as she looked at photos of each milestone. When she reached the last one, she sighed. That one was her favorite. It had been taken a couple of years ago, when Will graduated from college. Mulder was beaming at him with his arm thrown around their son's shoulders, while he cradled Scully on his other side. That day had been one of the happiest of her life.

"Scully!"

Mulder's voice startled her out of her reverie, and she jumped in the chair. His voice was half reproachful, half amused.

"Jesus, Mulder! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry. You've been doing this a lot, you know?"

"Doing what?"

"Looking at those albums. You know you have to let him go, don't you?"

"I know." Scully's shoulders slumped, and she sounded defeated.

"Hey, don't pout," he said, sitting on the floor at her side and tucking her hair behind her ear. "You know he'll never stop loving you."

"Of course I do."

"And that he'll live only a couple of miles from here."

"Yes, I know that, too."

"And that Joanne loves you like a mother, and is not trying to steal your son from you."

"All right, I get it already."

"I'm not sure you do, but I'll let it go for now. Since tonight is Will's bachelor party, and I think I'm way too old for that kind of fun, I thought we could have a little fun here together." Mulder smiled slyly at her, and Scully felt heat starting to spread through her body. That smile always got to her.

"Oh, God! I haven't just heard that."

They turned around quickly and saw William standing in the doorway. Scully blushed slightly, but Mulder didn't seem affected at all.

"Now Will, there's something you need to know about marriages. When a man and a woman love each other very much "

"Oh no, you won't give me that speech again." William looked at his mother, and saw the tearstains on her face. "What's wrong, Mom?"

"Nothing's wrong, Will." Scully tried to dismiss her son's concern, but he was as stubborn as his father.

"Oh, I see," he said quietly, while walking to her and kneeling at her side. Taking the album that was still on her lap, he leaned his head against hers. Scully felt a few tears slide down her cheeks at the gesture. "Mom, you know that I love you, right?"

"I do."

William leaned back, and looked her in the eye, taking her hands in his. "And I'll only be living a couple of miles away from here. You're still going to see me all the time. Besides, Joanne loves you so much. You're like a second mother to her. She'll never occupy your space in my life or in my heart. Nor does she want to. She knows how important you and Dad are to me."

Scully laughed through her tears, and looked at her son and her husband. "Did you and your father rehearse this?"

Mulder chuckled at her words, and kissed her forehead. "Oh, Scully. It's just the Mulder genes talking. We can be quite reasonable sometimes."

"If you say so."

"I say so, and if I'm not mistaken, isn't there someplace you need to be, William?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" He looked up at Mulder, with feigned innocence.

"Damn straight I am. I have a party of my own to start, and I can't do that while you're here."

William jumped to his feet in a second. "Okay, okay. I'm leaving already. I definitely don't want to know what you're going to do once I'm gone. I'll just pick up my bag and I'm out of your way."

"That's a good boy," Mulder said smiling at his son.

Will shook his head. "Whatever."

Scully was quiet during their banter--just watching her men interacting. It was one of her favorite pastimes. She knew that in a few years, she'd remember this moment with nothing but fondness. She knew that Mulder was trying to be strong for her benefit, but he too, was feeling an ache in his heart. Mulder proved her right only a few seconds later, as he stood up and took Will in his arms.

"Oh, Dad. I think you need a speech too, don't you?"

"Of course not," Mulder said, but didn't let go of Will.

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you, Son."

Their voices were choked, as they patted each other's backs, and let go. Then Will turned to Scully and pulled her to her feet, embracing her tenderly.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, Will. Be good tonight."

"I will," he said as he gave her a peck on the cheek. "You and Dad behave."

Scully laughed, and watched as he left the room.

"Feeling better?" Mulder asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"A bit."

"I think I know one or two ways to make you feel much better."

"I'm sure you do." She smiled at him.

Mulder pulled her to their bed, and kissed her slowly and thoroughly. "I love you, Scully," he whispered while moving his lips to her ear, and leaning over her.

"I love you too, Mulder."

End


End file.
